Sunday, March 8, 2009

First day @ KPMG...

KPMG is a one of the biggest network of professional service firms
in 145 countries in Audit, Taxation & Advisory
After getting the shock that Mom's leaving for Mathura on Sunday eve(Gosh, who will arrange my certificates, food and formals ?!) and I will be left alone to fight the sleepless night full of anticipation and excitement of joining KPMG let alone the week to follow... But deep down I was ready for one thing most CAs dream for in their careers...
Monday morning and first day @ KPMG dawned for me with things going from bad to worse, no tea or breakfast, trying to figure out the shirt and tie combination and an idiot friend whose life's mission was to make me reach late on my first day !! (PS: if you are my friend, you should know that I hate waiting and even more, reaching late !!) So finally dodging a few signals...entering one ways from wrong side and no entries... and adventurously hiking the bike along footpath at few junctions I manage to reach office... still 20 mins late... I mean wtf ?! But as luck had it, the HR folks there kept a 30 mins buffer for day one of the Training session... Phew, so much for impression !!

I was amazed at the sheer size and look of the KPMG offices, so to speak the buildings ?! ;) The fellow new recuits looked like a nice and enthusiastic bunch of people which turned out to be very true over the week !! most were fellow Narsee Monjee graduates, someone Poddar rivals, a Jai Hind cool dude and some from other colleges i did not even know existed !! heyyy, we NMites are like that... Hehe... Over the round of Intros i discovered myself being amongst the youngest and over qualified of all Article Trainees... though it did not seem so bcoz the 3rd and 4th attempt guys passing marginally in last couple of months managed to get a RANK in old discontinued course and very aptly avoided the number of attempt details in Intros - yes yes, i seriously take offence to that and stealing away my limelight... Haha !!!

Later, we loved exploring our new office... the KPMG house, KPMG citi Studio, the awesome canteen n even more awesome food (its rare to find office canteen food good !!!) and the best place The Audit Bay - the place where form stretch to stretch you can see 100s of CAs MBAs professional working frantically on their Laptops wearing formals and ties and pin drop silence... Seriously workaholic awesomeee !!!
Day one ended with a new hope about future...life...career...and a new found sense of belongingness... being a KPMGite... I am here to do something and I am loving it... I knew I am now part of something Big, something really Big... stuff that makes HISTORY...........

8 comments:

Thoreau said...

Quid pro quo, KPMG, tax shelters, audits of DOJ and unemployment. U-6 unemployment is 15% yet KPMG remains employed by many of its clients including the DOJ. Word on the street is KPMG’s revenues are down at least $300 million which seems low given the number of failed financial institutions KPMG audits whose financial statements were riddled with tax fraud (at least according to Mike Hamersley) and accounting fraud (which apparently only the markets could figure out, right Citi). When are the massive layoffs at KPMG going to start as apparently accounting fraud is out of vogue? Word on the street is KPMG not only audits a disproportionate amount of Insurance companies engaging in accounting fraud and tax fraud but KPMG’s own purported Bermudian fraudulent Captive insurance company, Park, was engaging in accounting and massive tax fraud. How can this be? KPMG as part of its deferred prosecution agreement with the DOJ was given the audit of the DOJ, perhaps, a quid pro quo for KPMG agreeing to throw several of its tax partners under the bus and destroying theirs’ and their families lives, pay a large fine, be monitored by a fellow who used to work for the government as head of the SEC, Breeden (millions in fees earned by a former government official (more quid pro quo)); a deal struck by Flynn, Loonan, Bennett, Taft and Holmes. Which partners will KPMG throw under the bus next to help in avoiding indictment by the DOJ for the massive $100s of Billions in accounting fraud KPMG assisted their financial clients in purveying against the public and the markets. Is it possible the KPMG partners believe that since KPMG audits the DOJ the massive accounting fraud they purveyed will be allowed? Are the DOJ accounting statements riddled with fraud like most of KPMG’s clients? If I were a KPMG partner I would not count on it judging by what the U.S. Government did to Sadam once a good friend of the U.S., is the same type of devastation and destruction coming to KPMG? Word on the street is KPMG through its captive insurance company, Park, not only defrauded its partners (and the KPMG Board of Directors) by kiting current legal claims into insurance liabilities with the help of none other than AIG but committed massive tax fraud itself with the approval of KPMG’s internal legal counsel Loonan and Taft . In fact, the world renowned whistleblower Mike Hamersley testified to the Senate and DOJ, that the type of “tax structuring” KPMG’s captive insurance company entered into (and many of KPMG’s clients) was in fact, tax fraud. And believe me, Hamersley claims he knows tax fraud when he sees it since while at KPMG he purveyed much of this type of tax fraud for his clients, the very same tax fraud he decried to the Senate and DOJ about while destroying the lives of many families, the emails are there for the world to see yet no one looks, why? Does KPMG believe it and its partners are immune from prosecution for continued and massive accounting and tax fraud because of the “deal” it struck to audit the DOJ? If the U.S. government’s behavior in the past towards its presumed friends, KPMG should not count on it and if you are a partner at KPMG that purveyed accounting and tax fraud (at least according to Hamersley), you can only expect to be thrown under the bus for a life of ass raping just like KPMG, Flynn, Loonan, Bennett, Taft and Holmes did to its tax partners (over rather trivial sums compared to the massive financial fraud presently destroying this country). Of course there may be hope since Hamersley a tax fraudster by his own definition has a high level government job destroying lives over the very same type of tax fraud he used to commit not withstanding the fact the government knows he committed tax fraud (based on Hamersley’s own emails), Quid pro quo?

Nikhil said...

Well written buddy......Congrats......

Ravi said...

i pray that ur days ahead are as exciting as the first week!!! though crazy that u r...u never know what big 4 has in store for u!! all the best!!

Vivek Khandelwal said...

make it big.
really big n then get back to slog ur ass for my firm.
that will make history.

Mohit Sureka said...

thnks guys...

@vivek : loser phd researchers dont make firms :P ppl like u end up working for us !!! bruhahaha ;)

Anonymous said...

I don't think you know what you are talking about with respect to Hamersely. I read Travails in Tax and personally observed Hamersley’s testimony before the Senate Finance Committee. He seems like an exceedingly honest guy to me. Didn’t KPMG say Hamersely had absolutely no involvement or knowledge of tax shelters in its press release to the Senate Finace Committee after Hamersley testified in October 2003? I read that KPMG press release on the PBS Frontline website. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/tax/interviews/release.html

Anonymous said...

THOREAU,

I don't think you know what you are talking about with respect to Hamersely. I read Travails in Tax and personally observed Hamersley’s testimony before the Senate Finance Committee. He seems like an exceedingly honest guy to me. Didn’t KPMG say Hamersely had absolutely no involvement or knowledge of tax shelters in its press release to the Senate Finace Committee after Hamersley testified in October 2003? I read that KPMG press release on the PBS Frontline website. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/tax/interviews/release.html

jack loach said...

Swiss Bank Accounts .---Aug. -----2014.

Is your monies safe in these accounts ---- definitely NOT.
Would you get your money back if every body decided to withdraw all their accounts – NO WAY.
Economic Experts say that there would only enough money to repay 50% of their clients.
Are you going to be in the 50% --- that loose your money.-- Get it out NOW.

2012 -- - June. -- Published in Anglo INFO .Geneva.--- USA Trust Fund Investors were sent false and fraudulent documents by Pictet Bank.Switzerland. in order to collect large fees. ( Like MADOFF) ---Even after the SEC in the USA uncovered the fraud Pictet continued to charge fees and drain whatever was left in these accounts. Estimated that $90,000,000 million lost in this Pictet Ponzi scheme.

2012 - - - July. -- De – Spiegel. -- states – Pictet Bank uses a letterbox company in
Panama and a tax loophole involving investments in London to gain
German millionaires as clients.

2012 - - - August ---- German Opposition Leader accuses Swiss Banks of "organised crime."

All the fines that crooked Swiss banks have incurred in the last few years exceeds £75.Billion.
It is also calculated that the secrecy " agreements" with regards to tax evation by their clients will cost the banks another £450 Billion.( paid out of your monies.)

The banks are panicking --- the are quickly restructuring their banks ---- from partnerships --
to " LIMITED COMPANIES." ----- this will probably mean that in the future --- they could
pay you only 10% of your monies " if you are one of the lucky ones" ---- and it be legal.