Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I have never felt such joy while receiving the CS Institute’s 3 degrees or certificates or the 2 from the CA Institute… In fact, none of them ever got a second look, leave alone an attempt to preserve them safely… Maybe, mom kept them somewhere later ?!
The MU mentions my name in the Degree as Sureka Mohit Mahesh Malti… Finally, the much deserved association of Mother’s name with the child, a privilege only given to Fathers whether in India or west ?! It has saddened me over the years that on every form, application, contract, deed, certificate, degree, acknowledgement only the father’s name is mentioned, as if a mother never held anything in one’s life… Not to mention my own pen name Crazymms… Moms have always been there to take care of things you need… The pampering you require, to calm you, to shout at you for not studying, to make the coffee at 1am, to make sure you get your food on time and off time too !!!
Some people recall Shakespeare’s line – What’s in the name ?? Sometimes everything is…
I can finally run upto my Mom and say:
Hey Mom look at my name on the degree, I am a Graduate !!!
Yes, she gleamed with pride, not only on the degree but on also seeing her name on it !!!
As a ritual i was fumbling to lay my hands on glasses; watch or cell to check out the time… Aggh, in vain… may be, didn’t really care… with the blurred vision i tried getting accustomed to the moonlight outside… some how shining so brightly as if giving me the direction i needed in lyf… For a second, Hariharan’s melodious tune of Chanda re rang through my ear drums ?!
Aimlessly with tired eyes i just stared back at the moon as if searching for answers… questions and questions had dwelled in me lately bothering my head…
Don’t worry about the Big offers… you have slogged your ass for 5 yrs screwing college life to make this profile…
May be an old friend tagged you arrogant after 5yrs but you earned it, live with it… Don’t care what people think of you… They can be wrong…
Am i really the good guy or just too slow and covering up?! May be…Lyf just happens when you waste your time thinking about it ?!
Stop being rash again… control rage and speeds… I was always chilled out, right ?!
Sometimes you just don’t recall if you spent an eternity thinking about your lyf and finding the possible solutions while looking through the window, just staring at the moon… But ya, it made me feel good…
But what happens when the foundations of the new found self – belief really speaking never existed ?!
The very next moment, my fingers found my specs somewhere…finally !!! I put them on to get the rosier, brighter picture of what i was glancing at, through the window since hours… Aaarghh, its not the moon, just a distant street light ?!
In a fit of frustration i threw my specs away… Even the moon isn’t mine anymore… Is everything in life so delusional ?! Am i really lost in darkness and just a stupid eternal optimist ?!
But i calmed down and soon realised, all the answers have always been in me deep down… My lyf, my introspection… I don’t need anybody’s support to believe in myself or to feel good… I can make my own happy journey… Phew, why worry…?!
I don’t need any Moon to guide me in lyf, i will work my way out even with a street lamp… Let lyf happen…m ready !!